Dating A Person with a Disability? Here Are 4 Things To Keep In Mind
Dating can sometimes be a little intimidating. If you’re dating someone with a disability you might feel uncertain about what to talk about or if it’s okay to discuss one’s disability (especially on the first date). We’ve listed below a few pointers from self-advocates to help ease your nerves and tips for dating anyone, regardless of abilities and disabilities.
1. Treat It Like Any Other Date. Some disabilities are visible while others are not. Either way, every person has unique things about them. If this is your first few dates with the person, take the time to get to know them, their interests, preferences, and hobbies. Understand and accept that it is their right and up to them in terms of timing when they feel comfortable disclosing about their disability.
2. Learn About Their Disability. Take the time to understand their disability. There is a wealth of information online from reputable organizations about most types of disabilities. Once your date has shared with you about their disability, don’t be afraid to ask questions. Try not to make assumptions, just ask and be open to learning.
3. Be Yourself. Regardless of who you are or who you are dating this is perhaps one of the most important things to remember. Always show up to each date as your full self. If you aren’t familiar with your date’s disability, you don’t have to pretend to be. Just like your date doesn’t have to pretend to know things about you already. After all, the point of the date is getting to know one another and learning about one another.
4. Share Your Feelings. If at some point during your time dating the individual, something on the date makes you uncomfortable or confused and you aren’t sure how to react or help (if needed), it’s okay to share that with your date. For example, if your date is in a wheelchair and you aren’t sure if they need help opening the door, you can either ask them if they would like help or let them know you want to help when necessary, but that you need some guidance. Like any relationship, open communication is invaluable.
The most important part of dating is to have fun! Enjoy the process of getting to know one another and getting to know yourself and your needs as an individual. Communication is key and don’t be afraid to be open and vulnerable. There is a lot you can gain from getting to know someone else through dating.
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